How should you deal with your parents?

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Bismillah irahman irrahim. It’s an important question to ask that how should you deal with your parents? The answer is quite Inspective and urgent. How should you, I or anyone treat their parents?

Dealing with your parents is a matter of faith, more than humanity. You can lose humanity and be ok with it, spread injustice and be fearless about it. However losing faith is not the same when you know you are accountable for what you do; it’s not the same when you have faith in Allah ta’lah by choice, with all your senses and truthfulness.

Therefore, there’s no powerful and reliable source that can guide the humankind and provide rules about dealing with their parents then the Book of God (The Holy Qur’an), and after that the Authentic Hadith collection. Let’s take a deep perspective into it.

The Holy Quran on dealing with parents

There are almost four places in the Quran that specially talk about parents. These verses of the Quran give a profound meaning to parenthood. It’s gives instructions to children about how they should deal with their parents. A variety of lessons can be derived out of them, a number of values can be learnt. The Quran is as deep as it gets; it addresses each of us personally.

let’s look at those verses at once.

1. And We have enjoined on man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship and she brings him forth with hardship, and the bearing of him, and the weaning of him is thirty (30) months, till when he attains full strength and reaches forty years, he says: “My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will).”

[Quran- 46:15] (Chapter 46: The Wind-Curved Sandhills)

2. “And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say (Pray): “My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.”

[Quran- 17:23,24] (Chapter 17: The Night Journey)

3. And We have enjoined on man goodness to his parents, and if they contend with you that you should associate (others) with Me, of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them, to Me is your return, so I will inform you of what you did.

[Quran 29:8] (Chapter 29:The Spider)

4. And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents- his mother conceived him in feebleness upon feebleness, and his weaning was in two seasons. Give thanks to Me and to your parents; to Me is the Destiny. And in case they (both) strive with you that you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them, and keep them company in the present (life) (Literally: the lowly “life”, i.e., the life of this world) with beneficence (Remain with them in this world with due fairness). And closely follow the way of him who (turns) penitent to Me. Thereafter to Me will be your return; then I will (fully) inform you of whatever you were doing.”

[Quran 13:14-15] (Chapter 13: Surah Luqman)

Each of the shared Quranic Verse has been explained by great and renowned scholars of the world. We’ll update this section soon Insha’Allah.

Secondly, the deep study of the Sirah of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, through Authentic Hadith and books of the reliable scholars give us the answer to it.

The Quran mentions 7 Parental Rights; these are your responsibilities as children towards your parents. If you are sincere in your quest of self purification and want to improve your bond with your parents, then it’d be better if you first acknowledge ‘what rights your parents have on you? Click here to read them in detail.

Dos with your parents:

There are many ways to create a strong bond with your parents, treat them better and become a best child. We are sharing some tips that can help you reach closer to your parents’ heart. However, other than the below mentioned tips, positive opportunities should be explored everyday and taken.

  1. Keep your parents happy. Make their hearts shine like a thousand suns.
  2. Share jokes with your parents and make them laugh.
  3. Be Kind and gentle with your parents.
  4. Forgive your parents’ mistakes.
  5. Speak to your parents in noble words.
  6. Love your parents abundantly.
  7. Make your parents feel special.
  8. Spend on your parents and take care of their needs.
  9. Take your parents out to eat.
  10. Give time to your parents, even it’s about 15 mins in the most hectic days.
  11. Forget your ego with your parents; act like a child at home.
  12. Honor your parents in front of others.
  13. Earn your parents trust every day.
  14. Make dua for your parents.
  15. Ask your parents to make dua for you.
  16. Be obedient. There’s no better way to win your parents’ hearts than being obedient.
  17. Express your affection to your parents verbally and non verbally (i.e., perform acts that speak about your love).
  18. Help your parents in completing daily tasks. I.e., cleaning, cooking, budgeting etc
  19. Talk about your sorrows and share your problems with your parents.
  20. Take your parents advice seriously.
  21. Be at your parents’ service physically, emotionally and spiritually
  22. Console your parents and make them relaxed.
  23. Be available for your parents and make them that feel you exist, understand and will share their burden.
  24. Learn from your parents. Ask them to narrate their life experiences to you.
  25. Be patient with disagreements with your parents.

Don’ts with your parents:

Doing or not doing of something is related with morality. Islam supports morality and urges one to take it up to the finest stage. Don’t do these things with your Parents.

  1. Don’t dishonor your parents.
  2. Don’t rise your voice above your parent’s voice.
  3. Don’t deprive your parents of what you can afford.
  4. Don’t mock over your parents or make fun of them.
  5. Don’t look at your parents with disdain.
  6. Don’t displease your Parents or Involve in activities that they forbid you do.
  7. Don’t judge your parents for their Intentions about you.
  8. Don’t take advantage of your parent’s kindness towards you.
  9. Don’t break your parent’s trust.
  10. Don’t hurt your parents.
  11. Don’t say no to your parents, except they ask for something that go against Allah Almighty’s rules.
  12. Don’t make your parents stressed.
  13. Don’t fill your parents with pain.
  14. Don’t hate your parents.
  15. Don’t ever hit your parents.
  16. Don’t lie to your parents.
  17. Don’t disgrace your parents or make them pay for your sins publicly or otherwise.
  18. Don’t be harsh with your parents while explaining something.
  19. Don’t push your perspectives and arguments at your parents.
  20. Don’t tell them that you know better.

Also Read: 8 Don’ts with your parents in Islam.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)

How to deal with your parents?

Deal them with love and kindness. Your parents deserve the best of you. When we study Quran and go into details of its verses, the true image comes out.

Read More:

  1. 7 Parental Rights In Islam
  2. 8 Dont’s with your parents in Islam